Leaving places can be a very strange experience. Over the course of my life I've left different school, university, jobs, signing on at a job centre, left my gap year, left the UK and now I'm preparing to leave the Ukraine (well for 2 months at least).
Leaving all these different places have lead to different combinations of joy, excitement, fear and doubts (all in different measurements) due to the different circumstances.
To be honest at this moment it's all a bit messy.
I of course really want to return home, see all my old friends, enjoy all the benefits that can be had in the UK and yet at the same time there is almost a sense of dread in me at this moment. You see one of my aims in life was to live in a foreign country for a year and, give or take the time that I was out for Christmas, my friends wedding and the summer holiday, next week I will have achieved that.
That's a big tick of my list of things I wanted to do in my life and I suppose it really brings up the question of what next....
I have already agreed to stay on and teach next year as I have really enjoyed teaching English as a foreign language and really didn't want to stop. But there is still the underlying question of what next...
What happens after next year? Or the year after? Am I just postponing facing the real decision of where to be or is this right? Is it right for me to be in a state of flux not knowing where I'll be next year or the year after?
One of the main factors behind these thoughts and feelings is my own doubt in my ability in English due to my Dyslexia. I do sometimes feel like a fraud who is just waiting to be found out by those around him and making mistakes like writing stagging not staging or similar things.
As I've said before I know what amazing progress I have made [from the kid who in year 6 couldn't even use paragraphs) and despite all this I still feel a bit like a fraud.
